Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
