Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The beer is more important than you right now.
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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