He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
