there's paper in my vomit.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
two words: eviction party
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
