HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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