I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
