wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
