new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
