Christians are straight up FREAKS
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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