She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
