Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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