I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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