I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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