so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
