When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
