My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
