We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
