You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
