I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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