they need to just BURY HIM!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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