I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
