i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
