I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it's great music for shaving your balls
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
