theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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