sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
