How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
