Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
