Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
two words...techno handjob
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
