He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
