he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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