I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
