I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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