i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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