Duck Duck Cougar?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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