Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
