Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
