Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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