I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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