i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
