Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
