Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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