I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
