we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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