I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
