Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
