Your dad touched me again.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
