yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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