i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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