But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
