Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
