Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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