It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
