im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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