i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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