My hand turned me down
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize