Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize