I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
