I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
