Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
